Sunday, February 15, 2015

Maxine and Me!

I have a brand new friend, her name is Maxine!  (Maxi-Me)!  She has moved into the neighborhood in my head.   She is awesome.  She shares the best part of herself with me every day.

My Mini-Me (my negative, self sabotaging voice) who has taken up residence for so long in my head, telling me I am not worthy, that I can't do anything right, I am not smart or fit enough, I cant do that...HAS BEEN REPLACED!.  

This new friend and internal voice, Maxine, lets me know that I am OK!  That I am human! That I am right where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now...

I am gaining strength every day.  This is actually a very funny thing during this time...I can look in the mirror and visibly see that I have actually lost quite a bit of muscle and physical strength...yet I feel stronger than ever in other ways.

Maxine allows me to be comfortable being seen...What others say about me, or about others no longer has the impact of old.  I have released it to them...it is theirs...to have and to hold.  I need not absorb myself in becoming who "I am supposed to be",  or obsess over who they think "I should be", or how they think "I should act."

I am now more comfortable stepping outside the box and embracing my fears.  I have an Ali now in Maxine.  She is always right there providing me the support, she has a kind and compassionate voice.  I know she will support the words I say, the attitude I walk around with and the actions that I take.  

My Mini Me is amazingly resilient though.  I am not sure how she gets the transportation, or how she affords it, but she is constantly fighting to move back into my head, into the neighborhood in my head.  So that she has closer access to me than Maxine.  

My job now is to continue to give strength and attention to my new ali Maxine so she will continue to gain strength and confidence.  And...try my best to keep Mini Me far, far away.  Continue to Ignore her voice and harassment.  

OHHHH that gives me a great idea!  I will calling the police to put a restraining order on my Mini Me, keep her out of my neighborhood once and for all.  Maybe that will help!

Please feel free to send your Mini Me on vacation too...or assign them a restraining order.  Keep her out of your head.  

When she comes back in...acknowledge her,  and then send her on away.  Our Mini-Me's are not helpful to us...They are not our friends.  Find other friends...ones that support and care about you.  None of us needs a friend that only picks a fight.  We want friends who love us...no matter what!

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