Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Time to Fight

I look down at my legs...and my mini me begins her assault.  She has been programmed over and over for the past 40 years.  She has lots of ammunition and experience...I cant believe you are so fat, why did you eat that, why didn't you exercise more today...ect...

If I had a penny for every negative body image thought I have had in my head, I would never need to work again....I would be eternally wealthy.  For years, almost entire days have been taken up with comments and  criticism from my mini me.  From counting calories in foods, calculating exercise hours, blaming...shaming...guilting, decisions of what to eat, how much, not caring...bingeing...UGG...

The fight slowly began not too long ago.  I became sick of listening, sick of wasting time.   I was noticing not only the way I was talking to myself, but also the way I was treating myself.  I was my own worst enemy...There are more things to be spending my time on...and better things to be listening too.  There is strength on the inside, happiness to be had.  It was time to engage in this battle. 

Step right up Maxine(my strong, confident alter ego) It is time to go to work.  It is time to come into the neighborhood, and put Mini me in her place.  I know I needed her.  Unfortunately, she had some things to learn... I had to supply her with some ammunition.  Maxine has been given little snip-its of ammo from time to time, only to be blasted by a much more powerful army of thoughts from Mini Me (She is so strong)

I attended a seminar, and a switch turned inside of me.  Hearing the stories of others, to realize we are not alone in our struggles...with our demons, with our voices, or our battles.  The stories we have lived, the stories we have told ourselves.  True or not, they are what we believe.  I have been learning that we have the power to CHANGE THEM!  We have a choice what to think, what to believe and what we say to ourselves.

Enter..Self-Talk...My husband comes home from a training...he brings home these downloads, and asks me to try them.  All you have to do is play them in the background when you are getting ready for work, cooking, eating...whenever.  Hmmm, sounds easy I think, and I would of course love to support him, right?  I don't have an agenda, I just do it.

Within a couple weeks, I notice things changing.  My Maxine gets information, ammunition, new words, new thoughts.  It was like I was taking her to the gym every day and she was getting stronger and stronger.  Mini has gotten tired fighting this new, strong, and educated Maxine.  Maxine has won a few rounds, and is getting energized.  The tired and defeated Mini me is hanging out on the couch, sleeping... 

This self talk has given me hope, power, and independence from my badgering mini me. I am thankful for my husband for helping me with the journey...that I will continue.  If you would like to find out more about this great ammunition watch for the Self-Talk Seminar we are holding at Center Point Church in Concord on April 11 at 1:45pm, or message me.

Give your Maxine a fighting chance.  She is capable of acceptance, joy, happiness, confidence and self-esteem.

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